Hi.
Ladies and gentlemen, we have now arrived in London Heathrow.
Local time is 9.57pm.
...that these triumphs of British culture,
that these spectacular structures, vast country houses...
SVU Halls of Residence.
Yes, please hold, I'll put you through.
Kenzo?
Yes.
I'm so sorry to wake you. I...
Oh. Yeah. Hi.
I'm Sarah. I'm going to be taking the Crime Scene Management course.
Well, more accurately, I'm teaching it.
I just thought I'd come down and...
Have you been sleeping here all night?
Yes. - I'm so sorry.
It's my first day, as well.
For all I know, they always make the mature students sleep in the reception.
Probably not, though.
Right!
This is yours, it's a welcome pack.
It's got a timetable and a map and some stickers, for some reason.
Thank you. - You must be jet-lagged.
A cup of coffee and a McMuffin usually does the trick.
Or there's always lying in the foetal position and weeping.
Yeah, no, ignore that.
I'll see you in class.
Welcome to London.
Thank you.
Detective Weitzmann. - Good afternoon.
I'm Yasmin Rose from the Probation Services.
Is now a good time to talk?
Yes. - It's in regards to Ian Summers.
I'm sure you're aware he recently became eligible for parole.
He's been released.
Yes. - Where's he staying?
I can't disclose that information, I'm afraid. Um...
Did you know?
Know what?
Lunch Club - that wanky sandwich place. £6.50 for a baguette.
Beth?
Kev?
Come on, Heather.
What?! Fuck off!
No, listen to me, you've got to tell him that if he's wants you,
he's got to start acting like a man and not behaving like a little bitch.
Because do you know what a little bitch gets?
No, neither do I, because I don't associate with them
and neither should you. Can I get a gin and tonic?
Your boyfriend's here. - I don't have one of those.
Rodney. - Oh, God!
Tiff. Um... I don't have the energy right now.
I deserve an explanation.
An explanation is a privilege, not a right. - I just want to know why.
What did I do? - Can I call you back? Sorry.
I'm in the middle of a Greek play.
Do we not have a warning system in place for this kind of situation?
No. Right. Well, let's you and I talk about that at some point, OK?
Just tell me what changed. - Um... my mood, my mood changed.
I don't understand. - I don't need you to.
Michael came round looking for you.
Well, you don't need to say anything to Michael.
You don't even need to go near him. - I want to help you.
I can't do that if you won't let me in.
I ordered a gin and tonic in what feels like several lifetimes ago.
Rodney!
Listen to me, it's done, OK? I let you in and now I'm letting you out.
I don't want to be out! I don't know what to do on my own.
Oh, God! Look, the tears aren't going to work with me, honey, they never have.
You're a piece of shit, you know that? You're a fucking sociopath!
Tiff? - OK. - Tiff! - Thank you.
Don't look at me like that. - Like what? - Like you agree with him.
I'm with them.
Hm.
Dan? - Sarah.
Oh!
Should I call you LondonDan35?
If you like.
Well, I insist you call me Sarah Blues and Twos.
Right, got it.
I mean, not really. You can just...
Sarah is fine.
Have you been waiting long?
No. I was five minutes early and you were ten minutes late, so...
I'm so sorry.
Traffic. A fucking blinking nightmare.
Yeah, I walked, but it seemed really busy.
Well, it's great to finally meet you.
You too.
This place seems nice.
I've never been. My friend said it was nice.
Oh. Hello again.
You speak good Japanese.
And your mother?
White girl from Peckham, would you believe?
Would you like to earn some money?
I'm £200 for the night.
What's the word for condom? - Condom.
Right. Yes, one of those.
Unless you've got a grand, in which case, fine, but you're pulling out.
It's a customer guarantee.
I need to go to the Momo Lounge.
Hm. It's a Japanese bar, but members only.
Right. But you seem like the sort of man who can get me in.
That's all I want. I can pay. - What do you do?
Policeman. Fucking knew it.
OK, how about you keep your money and do me a favour instead?
What?
There's a guy who's been bothering me.
Someone needs to go and talk to him.
The boy earlier? - No.
Nothing like the boy earlier.
OK, if that's what you need.
Plus 100, cos I'm nice.
Agreed. Let's go.
No can do. I've got clients waiting.
Tomorrow, then. No later.
Oh!
Night, Alex.
Fuck you.
That was great.
Thank you.
It's a work night.
Oh, right.
Yeah, of course.
Crime doesn't sleep, right?
Good morning, everyone, I'm Detective Weitzmann.
On this course, I'm going to be covering
how modern techniques used by forensic specialists
can be applied to the solving and even the prevention of crime.
Hello.
How are you finding everything?
Good. Thank you.
Explored the city yet? - A little.
Easy to get lost, isn't it?
Your first class was very interesting.
Was there a single thing I said that you didn't know already?
I didn't know your last name was Weitzmann.
Ha-ha!
Well, come to the next one,
I'll tell you my middle name.
Ready for some fun?
We are not here to have fun. - 'Course not.
Here you go. - Thanks.
So I'm going to get you in, we're going to have some drinks,
make some beautiful memories, do whatever it is that you're so desperate to do
and then you can come and help me with my thing, OK?
You get the other half when we're inside.
Okey doke, Super Cop.
That's weed, by the way.
Asahi, please. - And a vodka club soda.
So, what are we investigating?
Is someone preying on beautiful young mixed-race boys?
Just tell me how worried I need to be.
I'm looking for someone. Criminal?
Ghost. Oh! Spooky!
Thank you.
He's drunk.
Are you sure... you've never seen this man?
I don't know, sorry. We get all sorts in here.
I thought it was a private members' club?
No. Open to anyone.
OK, so I never said it was a private members' club,
you just offered me £100 to get you in.
That's not on me, that's your bad information.
Hey! Hey, I still need your help with my thing! - You lied to me.
Yeah, but I'm not lying to you now.
This guy really is a fucking nutcase.
Find someone else to help you.
Please! I'm...
That's not very fucking Japanese of you, is it?! Fuck!
[Whitest Boy On The Beach by Fat White Family]
Argh!
♪ It's the time of the season